Princess troubles

The woes of a twenty eight year old princess.

I have been noticing a trend, something that concerns me greatly. 

Grown women, some of who are mothers claiming that our little princesses are slaves misogyny. That they are unoriginal, uninspired, and are a product of everything wrong with today's society as far as gender roles are concerned. 

It would seem that it isn't only little boys who are being attacked for liking the pink, sparkly princess stuff; now people dislike anything remotely female gender specific and are attacking little girls.

Quite frankly, it is bullshit and a massive pet peeve of mine. 

Why do we as women have to be so much more than our male counter parts. And WHY oh WHY is it 'feminists' blogging about this? I would honestly expect better. I don't see any blogs (though, in all honesty I have stopped reading them) attacking little boys for liking the 'acceptable' toys(please know that when I say acceptable I certainly do not find any toy unacceptable). 

My daughter is an incredibly intelligent, dirt loving, bike riding, knee skinning, curious, spiderman loving.
beautiful ballerina princess.

 She has loved everything 'feminine' since she was around a year old. She was dressed in my nephews clothing most of her infanthood, and yet she still navigated towards pink. Why would she go there? Because it is who she is. Pink is a pleasant colour, so why the hell not. The first princess movie she actually sat down and watched was Sofia the First; her second was Frozen. She is no slave to the princess industry, but she is every bit the little princess. And EVEN if she did love the Disney princesses as many young girls do, so what?  I grew up loving Princess Belle, I was convinced that she couldn't possibly be hand drawn; but instead it was a trick of the lighting because she was so beautiful. I am not a disillusioned woman. While I was every bit the bright and colourful princess my daughter is, I loved history, science, music, and reading. I am educated and a mother, and I expect my daughter will follow suit. 

Girls, and women have the ability to be multi faceted. We can wear many hats, and instead of limiting our daughters by mocking the princess culture, we should embrace them, and encourage them to be exactly who they are. Regardless of what you think a woman should be. 

Admissions of a Carseat fanatic

I have been a strong advocate for Car seat awareness since my daughter was about 11 months. Why not before 11 months?

There is an easy answer to that.

I didn't know about Car seat safety.

 I didn't realize that I was strapping her into her seat incorrectly.
I did not realize she was supposed to be strapped without a snow suit.
I did not realize her Car seat needed to be on a 30-45 degree angle.

I just did not realize.

This is an incredibly embarrassing blog post. but if it even helps one parent who feels wholly offended by the suggestion that she or he is not being entirely safe...well then it is totally worth the humiliation.

I am endlessly grateful to the 'Car seat Nazis  (I REALLY hate that term) for posting all of the information I needed to make my car a safe one.

 I would probably strapping my three children incorrectly, had they not shared their knowledge.

Car seats are not magical contraptions oblivious to the laws of physics..
 If your child is not properly strapped the car seat will NOT protect them.

Unlike what seems to be a very popular belief among parents, Car seat safety is NOT a parenting preference.
It is not a cloth vs disposable ......Breast feeding versus formula feeding...a baby wearing vs stroller discussion...

It is a SAFE VS NOT SAFE situation.

 As someone who used to do it very very wrong I can say that it wasn't a conscious choice. When strapping her in I did not pat myself on the back.. congratulating myself for sticking to my values. I strapped her in expecting the seat to just protect her. There was no second thought... There was no conscious good vs bad parenting choice. I just did it.

It wasn't until I started shopping around for a second seat that I started realizing my errors. And as I realized them. I slowly fixed them (ok by slowly I mean besides the conscious installation choice I slowly altered how I strapped her).
First it was the install... I went down to our parking garage and put on the seat belt lock and used my knee to properly tighten her seat. Then I went down and instead un installed the seat belt and uses the UAS system to strap her (the safety level is the same, I just became unsure of my seat belt lock install).

Then I went and I fixed the recline why using a pool noodle... Out of all the errors I was doing one thing correct. Her straps were through the proper height slot. It was actually such a gradual change that I totally forgot how LONG I was doing it wrong. Until I started looking through old photos...and saw that the last bad strap job was at almost 11 months of age.

Then the Eddie Bauer was recalled and we decided for safeties sake (finally realizing we had to take an active role as her parents in the her safety) to just buy a new seat

.. So the research started again

We went with Graco Myride 65's because their shell allowed for the proper installation without the pool noodles.

Since discovering my errors I have become a strong advocate.

Had I become defensive and ignored the information once I received it any injuries sustained in an accident would have been entirely my fault..ENTIRELY.
I was not an awful or neglectful parent. We both love our daughter to the heavens and back... We were just uninformed. I sincerely believe that most parents are the same; uninformed and slightly idealist.

My grandmother  told me a few weeks ago that "every few days or weeks, I hear on the news about another baby dying in a car crash because their Car seat was not properly secured. Why don't parents get it' "

I wish I had an answer for her.... I don't. I really don't know why it took me so long to wake up. Why it isn't more of a priority for parents... Or why some parents chose to ignore Car seat safety altogether... Under some misconception that they are unnecessary( because they survived childhood without them....or by the standards they themselves should be in a booster).

You are right... The majority of kids out there will never be in an accident. The majority of parents will never have to live with guilt and remorse. But you might.
Fact is that every single time you get behind the wheel you are at the mercy of other drivers, weather conditions... And other drivers. There will be no warning  that comes to you saying '' get it right; this time it will count''
You just never know. So best practice should be safety 100 percent of the time.

Education is so important. If you are expecting or have children already please take heed.

I won't bother writing it all out... I will instead send you to a credible link. Because I strongly believe that you shouldn't blindly believe everything you read online.

Here is the recommendation from AAP (the American academy of pediatrics) for every stage of car seat use. I urge you to read and follow the guidelines. It may very well save your child one day

 Watch this :No car seat crash test dummy video.
Forward vs Rear: why to stay rear facing As long as possible
and why we should never buy used or expired: NEVER
And see the low impact that rear facing has on Legs
And this is just a great info source

AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ YOUR MANUAL

Disclamer: Unfortunately sophia had to be turned shortly before her third birthday because our car just could not support three rear facing carseats. And shortly after my sons second birthday he turned forward in a radian to accomodate Elliott moving out of the infant seat he no longer fit. If I had a larger vehicle (or could afford to take on a second) they would all be rear facing. 

I purchased the Diono Radian for all three of my children as they have extra security in their Secure stop for children her turn forward before the 45 pound rear facing limit. 

Housekeeping

A clean house leads to mental clarity. At least that is what it has ALWAYS felt like for me. A clear space a clear mind. Now that being said I am a world renowned slob. No really...ask my mom, my college/university roommates ..and my husband pre kids. I however, always felt so much better overall when I was sitting in a clean room.
Now as a mom I am always cleaning..literally. no exaggeration. There is always some mess to be tidied.  Mentally I am a huge cluster F***. A million to do's running through my head (AT ALL TIMES) as a try to complete all tasks, and parent my children; while being a wife, and friend. It really does get to the point where you cry, bawl, and tantrum about spilled milk. It all feels so insurmountable and darn right overwhelming.
I don't think I know of a single mother out there who doesn't feel like this. Regardless of how clean and 'tidy' their homes are.
If I am being perfectly honest, I do not buy the older generations claims to perfect homes. In my opinoin as a fairly seasoned mother (with toddlers) you can not have both a perfect household and happy well cared for children. If you do, congratulations..I dont know how you do it. Literally I dont. If I am cleaning I am doing it with toddlers around my ankles in tears. If I am not cleaning and playing with them instead, the crumbs and destruction pile up around me. It only takes an hour.

I will never judge another woman on her ability to keep a clean house. ever. again. never. literally. Aside from poop smeared all over the wall and a solid population of rats and cockroaches I will not judge.

If the kids are happy, the house is live able,  then no judgement needs to be passed. Instead of judging others we mothers need to band together and take each others kids. Let the moms clean and organize their house then send the hellions children back to destroy.

Now I look for the cleanest room in the house and just go to sit and enjoy the mental clarity. Even if that means I sit in my laundry room...or closet

Christmas

I've gone around and around in my head about what my blog should be about..funny..photography only.. opinions. and I am just not one of 'those' people. I am not driven by one thing. I am driven by many, I have opinions, I love photography..and I can sometimes be funny..though usually only in the awkwards ha ha sense.

So this will be largely an opinion post. And since no one actually reads my blog I should be good with the contrary comments.

I LOVE Christmas! shoot me! I know. I am awful...I lie to my kids about SANTA..can you believe it? I LIE!

I am technically christian by birth, education, and general upbringing. BUT I don't celebrate for those reasons. To me Christmas is about family, love, giving, and that warm fuzzy feeling in your tummy while watching the Grinches heart grow.
I love it. I start celebrating the SEASON (not the day) soon after hallowe'en. Again..shoot me. I am one of *those*.

The pumpkins go in the trash, and the tree comes out. Even now with 20 sleeps until Christmas I am lamenting the day I take my tree down. For me that is December 25th after bedtime. My son Anthony's birthday is on the 28th, and he wasn't born with a tree in the house ( yes, I home birth) and he will never share his birthday with a tree.

I have wonderful memories of Christmas time (except the one year I was horribly sick with a flu...and at my dads). Not because of the presents I received  but because of the family traditions...Watching the weather network to see Santa's progress, leaving out beer and cookies for Santa  and my papa calling us down youngest to oldest to see our presents. Truth be told I was raised as a consumerist when it comes to Christmas  and yet that is NOT why I like it. Seeing my mothers excitement at our excitement made Christmas worth the experience to me.
I hope to raise my children to be the same. Have the same values as me, and feel the warm fuzzies I do.

As the Grinch says

  "  Maybe Christmas, perhaps... means a little bit more! "

Anthony

My sweet Anthony. I find that already as a middle child he goes somewhat un noticed on a day to day basis. Not that I don't notice him, ignore, or don't feed; but that we've been there done that with almost everything he does. Sophia's already done it all, so it doesn't feel nearly as exciting. Every day she is developing these amazing big kid skills, and we marvel on that. Elliott is starting to smile and socialize..as well as being a bitchin sleeper!
I fear that Anthony's milestones (there are SO many) go somewhat unappreciated.
He is way above where Sophia was at his age. His vocabulary is extensive, he has a few solid sentences  Physically he can almost keep up with the bigger kids, but he still walks like a wee toddler <3. He is jumping, skipping and climbing like a mad man.

this post is to appreciate Anthony.  I will post about the other two and appreciate the essence of them too..but for now I will appreciate Anthony. He will have an entire lifetime of being the middle child. So while this is a tiny gesture that he will likely never know about..it assuages my mommy guilt for the moment.

Anthony is an amazing little boy. He is so sensitive, and in tune with the emotions of people around him. He loves to cuddle, but it has to be his idea. He has the longest lashes ive ever seen on a boy, and CURLS! He is one good looking kid. I LOVE his name, and I feel like he is really growing into it. He is very particular, and precise  his concentration is kind of amazing for his age. This is all wonderful until his blankets go askew through the night.

He adjusted SO well to having a baby brother. He weaned two weeks before Elliott was born, putting him at about 20 months old, and has never looked back. He likes to snuggle beside me hugging my arm while I nurse him, and that is the most he asks for.


He is SUCH a sweetheart. And I am SO blessed to be his mommy

And he pulls off pink so well

pumpkin patch

We have had a killer week! Elliott spent the majority of it in the ER because of a persistent fever, cough with wheezing. It was a cold.  I stand by my choice to go since he is SO young...however I feel a little silly as he is my THIRD child and not my first. 

Both Sophia and Anthony ended up in my bed Saturday night while Chris worked. Both started running fevers..nothing like hot toddler toes in your back all night. 

against our better judgement we took them to the pumpkin patch between appointments on Monday  All fevers subsided and we were left with snotty noses. If we stayed home with every boogery nose we would never leave...like...ever. 

Here are some pictures from the pumpkin patch. I have decided to make myself more visible in their child hood. unfortunately for me this means handing the camera over..more unfortunately having a husband who doesn't really know how to use it and blows focus.....a lot. 

But as a kid whose mother refused to be in pictures I am sad going through my albums. by all rights I raised myself LOL. 

Mr Cross eyes

Three year old sophia

Since turning Three Sophia has changed. She is still pretty, cute, sweet, hilarious, and intelligent. Only now..those are all weapons. 

A sequence of goofiness trying to get a nice smile out of her

Close enough